Why Don't People Meet Your Expectations?

Over the years, I've learned many truths... or at least what I perceive to be truths today. These insights have come from mentors, managers, family, friends, and peers. Whether it was in my interraction with them or through direct coaching, it was something that just seemed to stick with me as something to watch. Once you begin collecting them, you seem to be drawn to seek them out.

A favorite... From old England to JFK and Wall Street to Christian sermons, "A rising tide lifts all ships." is a phrase that has inspired millions of people all over the world. I didn't know that until just now. Seriously, just looked it up. Ten minutes ago it was a phrase told to me by an early manager at Wal-Mart. I think it was a lesson I understood before Wal-Mart when I served in the Army. In the military, you learn quickly that it's never really about your personal accomplishment, but is certainly about your personal contribution. Now for someone that's never been in an atmosphere like that, you may not understand that it takes something pretty powerful to keep you motivated. For the military, you're most often inspired by the fact that you are serving your country. That is a pretty powerful motivation. Your mission is to contribute to the rising of the tide... not to push yourself to the peak of a ripple in the vast sea. Whenever I find myself too focused on my own accomplishments and aspirations, this phrase always aligns my values.

Incapable or Unwilling?

But today's post is about a much more recent insight. One I've learned to trust since joining my present company in 2005. It's more of a statement than a phrase. Actually, it's best described through conversation. But I'll do my best to express the value through this post.

What I've found is that there are typically only one of two reasons why someone doesn't meet your expectations. Either they are incapable or they are unwilling. If you're their manager, you prepare the incapable. If your their leader, you influence the unwilling. See the unwilling aren't always beyond encouragement. Sometimes, they just need to be motivated. Some are motivated by empowerment. Others by accountability. Still others by their sheer strive for excellence. If someone doesn't meet your expectations, it's usually because you haven't been completely clear in what you expect. If you have been completely clear, then that person may simply not have the perspective you have to be motivated.

So how do you show them your perspective so they understand and can relate to your expectations? Have you ever heard that the best leaders are usually the best story tellers? Do you know why that is? It's because they don't just state or explain with analytical precision exactly what is to be done. They tell stories of the grandure and glory that can be accomplished by seeking a clear objective and they guide their followers to define that objective. Many of the people in the IT profession are very intelligent and creative people. If given the opportunity to explore it with the right amount of support and guidance, they can accomplish amazing things. Unfortunately, many times this opportunity is lost on unclear goals and fuzzy purpose. As a leader, this is the constant battle you must fight.

Of course, there are those that are simply unwilling no matter what you do to inspire them. Unfortunately, these folks simply won't alway fit within the IT culture your team is working to create. I don't begrudge anyone their job. But some teams simply decide they want to be great. If someone is ok with being ok, they simply may not make the cut. Tough, but fair I'm afraid.

What To Do?

The next time someone you work with simply isn't meeting the expectations of what the IT culture demands, give time to consider that person's capability and help any way you can to prepare and clarify expectations with them (peers can do this too). If motivation is a problem, talk to the person and try to understand what excites them. If there's a way to associate this excitement with the expectations at hand, I think you'll see some amazing results. I know I have.

If the person simply isn't willing to be part of the culture, it's time for them to leave the organization. Not because you have to be strict and set an example for others. You do it because you care about all of those people in your organization that are striving to be the very best they can be. Leaving this person in place can quickly poison the motivation of those around them. It's true that one bad apple has the potential to ruin the entire barrel.

I know it sounds harsh, but the leaders who are committed to rising the tide are often very successful at guiding people away from this undesirable path.

We all want to be successful. We just need to know what it is that we're being successful at. If you can figure that out, they'll soon be exceeding even your expectations.